To tell someone to stop kicking your seat, turn around calmly, make eye contact, and politely but firmly request them to stop.
How to Politely Ask Someone to Stop Kicking Your Seat
Dealing with a seat kicker can be frustrating, but a calm and direct approach is usually the most effective. The key is to communicate your discomfort clearly while maintaining a respectful tone.
1. Initial Approach: Be Polite and Firm
When you feel repeated kicks, your first response should be measured. Avoid reacting quickly or harshly, as this can escalate the situation rather than resolve it. Instead, take a deep breath and prepare to communicate your request.
- Choose the Right Moment: Wait for a natural break in their activity, if possible, rather than interrupting mid-sentence or during a quiet moment.
- Turn Around Calmly: Gently turn your head or body to face the person behind you. Make eye contact to acknowledge them.
- Speak with a Polite, But Firm, Tone: Your voice should be clear and audible, but not loud or aggressive. A simple, direct statement works best.
- "Excuse me, I hate to bother you, but your feet are hitting my seat. Would you mind being a little more careful?"
- "Pardon me, I'm feeling some bumps on my seat. Could you please try to avoid kicking it?"
- "Hello, I seem to be feeling some kicking on my seat. Could you please stop?"
Remember, being rude or impolite won't lead to a successful resolution. The goal is to inform them of the impact of their actions without assigning blame or causing unnecessary confrontation.
2. When the Kicking Continues
If, after your initial polite request, the kicking persists, you are well within your right to address the issue again. This time, reinforce your message with the same polite but firm tone.
| Do's | Don'ts |
|---|---|
| Maintain a calm and even voice. | React fast and harshly. |
| Reiterate your request clearly. | Use aggressive body language. |
| Keep your body language open and non-threatening. | Expect rudeness to solve the problem. |
| Be prepared to explain why it's bothering you (e.g., "It's making it hard for me to relax"). | Engage in a shouting match or argument. |
It might be necessary to say, "I asked you earlier if you could please stop kicking my seat, as it's still happening. Could you please make an effort to stop?" If the person seems unaware, they might genuinely need another gentle reminder.
3. Practical Tips for Different Scenarios
The context can influence your approach slightly.
- On an Airplane or Bus: Space is limited, making seat kicking more noticeable. If you've tried speaking to them directly and it continues, involving a flight attendant or bus driver is appropriate. They are trained to mediate such situations.
- At a Movie Theater: The darkness and quiet amplify any disturbance. A soft but clear verbal request is usually sufficient. If not, consider speaking to an usher.
- With Children: If a child is doing the kicking, address the parent or guardian first, using the polite language suggested above. "Excuse me, your child's feet are kicking my seat. Would you mind asking them to stop?" Parents are often mortified and will take action.
4. Non-Verbal Communication
Your body language plays a crucial role in how your message is received. Refrain from aggressive body language, such as turning around abruptly, pointing fingers, or glaring, as this can escalate the situation. Instead:
- Maintain an Open Posture: Keep your arms uncrossed and hands visible.
- Make Brief, Direct Eye Contact: This shows you are addressing them directly but isn't confrontational.
- Keep a Neutral Facial Expression: Avoid frowning or looking angry.
5. What to Avoid
To ensure a successful resolution, it's critical to avoid certain reactions:
- Don't React Fast and Harshly: A quick, angry response will likely put the other person on the defensive.
- Don't Be Rude or Impolite: Being rude will not lead to a successful resolution; it often makes things worse.
- Don't Engage in Passive-Aggressive Behavior: This includes sighing loudly, dramatically turning your head, or kicking back, as these actions are unlikely to solve the problem and can create more tension.
- Don't Make Assumptions: The person may not realize they are doing it, or their actions might be involuntary (e.g., due to restless leg syndrome). Approaching with a non-judgmental attitude can foster cooperation.
For more general etiquette on shared spaces, you might find resources on travel etiquette from reputable travel sites helpful.
6. Seeking Assistance
If your polite requests are ignored, or the behavior becomes confrontational, it's time to involve a third party. On an airplane, this means a flight attendant. In other public spaces, seek out staff such as an usher, driver, or manager. They can intervene and help resolve the situation professionally.
