Your ex likely drunk called you due to a combination of lowered inhibitions from alcohol and underlying emotional reasons such as seeking validation, having unresolved feelings, or experiencing loneliness.
When alcohol is involved, it often diminishes self-control and amplifies emotions, leading to impulsive actions like calling an ex. This can manifest in several ways:
Common Reasons for a Drunken Call from an Ex
Alcohol can loosen tongues and lower inhibitions, making it easier for an ex to act on thoughts or feelings they might suppress when sober. These calls are often driven by deeper, underlying motives.
Seeking an Ego Boost or Validation
One significant reason an intoxicated ex might reach out is to get validation or affection they haven't found elsewhere. They might be feeling low, rejected, or simply craving attention. A drunk call can be a desperate attempt to feel desired or important again, even if just for a moment. This isn't necessarily about rekindling the relationship but more about a temporary ego stroke.
- Examples:
- They might compliment you excessively.
- They might fish for compliments about themselves.
- They could be testing if you still care about them.
Unresolved Feelings
Another powerful motivator is the presence of unresolved feelings. Alcohol can bring these emotions to the surface, making it difficult for your ex to suppress them. These feelings could range from regret, nostalgia, or missing you, to genuine desire for reconciliation or closure.
- Examples:
- They might express remorse for past actions.
- They could bring up old memories or "good times."
- They might hint at wanting to get back together.
- They may be trying to find out if you're single or seeing someone new.
Loneliness or Nostalgia
Especially if your ex is feeling isolated or sad, alcohol can amplify feelings of loneliness. In such moments, they might instinctively reach out to a familiar source of comfort and connection – you. The call could be a nostalgic trip down memory lane, driven by a longing for the comfort and familiarity of the past relationship.
- Examples:
- They might talk about how much they miss "the good old days."
- They could express general feelings of sadness or loneliness.
- They might simply want to hear a familiar voice.
Impulsivity Due to Lowered Inhibitions
Fundamentally, alcohol impairs judgment and reduces self-control. What might seem like a bad idea when sober becomes a momentary impulse under the influence. Your ex might not have a clear, logical reason for calling but is simply acting on a fleeting thought or emotion that they wouldn't normally pursue.
- Examples:
- They might call, say very little, and then hang up abruptly.
- Their conversation might be incoherent or nonsensical.
- They might apologize the next day, claiming they don't remember calling.
Understanding Their Motives
Here's a quick summary of potential motives and what they might imply:
| Motive | Explanation | What It Often Implies (for them) |
|---|---|---|
| Ego Boost/Validation | Seeking attention, reassurance, or a feeling of being desired, often due to personal insecurity. | Need for external affirmation; possibly feeling down. |
| Unresolved Feelings | Still processing the breakup, missing you, or regretting past actions; desire for closure or reunion. | Emotional lingering; potential for deeper conversation. |
| Loneliness/Nostalgia | Feeling alone and seeking comfort from a familiar past connection. | Temporary sadness or longing for comfort. |
| Lowered Inhibitions | Alcohol-induced impulsivity; acting without forethought or clear intention. | Lack of sober intent; potential for regret. |
Ultimately, a drunk call from an ex is rarely about a deeply thought-out decision. It's usually a spontaneous, alcohol-fueled expression of underlying needs, emotions, or impulses that surface when inhibitions are lowered.
