Talking to your daughter about pubic hair can be approached openly and naturally, focusing on her comfort and understanding. It's a normal part of puberty, and initiating a conversation shows your support.
Starting the Conversation
Begin by letting your daughter know you're available to discuss any questions or concerns she might have regarding her body. Initiate conversations about puberty, including the changes that accompany it, openly and honestly. Don't be embarrassed; your openness will likely ease her concerns. (Let your child know that you're available to talk, but start conversations too. Discuss puberty — and the feelings that come with its changes — as openly as possible. Parents might feel embarrassed discussing these sensitive topics, but kids often are relieved to have them take the lead once in a while.)
Key points to remember:
- Create a safe space: Choose a private setting where she feels comfortable sharing her thoughts.
- Be honest and thorough: Explain that pubic hair growth is a natural part of puberty and varies greatly among individuals.
- Encourage questions: Let her lead the conversation, allowing her to ask questions and express her feelings without judgment. (Let her ask questions.)
- Normalize the experience: Reassure her that this is perfectly normal and that every girl's experience is different. (Just let her know that she doesn't need to do it to fit in, that women have all kinds of different pubic hair (shaved, trimmed, landing strip…)
Addressing Pubic Hair Growth and Removal
Explain that pubic hair usually begins to appear around the start of puberty, typically between ages 8 and 13, but this varies. It's important to emphasize that there's no "right" way to manage pubic hair; it's a personal choice. If she expresses interest in shaving or other hair removal methods, discuss the risks involved, such as ingrown hairs and cuts, and emphasize the importance of safe techniques. (You can go very wrong shaving your pubic region and getting nasty ingrown hairs!)
Points to consider:
- It's her choice: Explain that she has the right to choose how she manages her pubic hair, whether that's leaving it as it is, trimming, shaving, or using other hair removal methods. (There is nothing wrong with either a boy or girl removing pubic hair. It has been for quite some time almost normal for girls to do it.)
- Safety first: If she chooses to remove her pubic hair, teach her how to do it safely to avoid injuries and ingrown hairs. (would seem perfectly normal and sensible.)
- Social pressures: Discuss the societal pressures surrounding body hair and help her understand that she doesn't need to conform to unrealistic standards.
Addressing Concerns and Questions
Be prepared to answer her questions about pubic hair growth, hygiene, and any other related concerns. If you don't know the answer to something, research it together or consult a healthcare professional. This shows her that you value her questions and are committed to providing her with accurate information.
Remember to:
- Stay calm and reassuring: Your tone and demeanor will significantly impact how she receives this information.
- Validate her feelings: Acknowledge that these changes can be confusing and sometimes embarrassing.
- Provide factual information: Use accurate, age-appropriate language to discuss puberty and its associated changes.
