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Is Giving Hickeys Childish?

Published in Social Norms 3 mins read

While not universally agreed upon, hickeys are often perceived as juvenile and can be considered childish, particularly as individuals mature.

Understanding the Perception of Hickeys

Hickeys, also known as "love bites," are temporary bruises on the skin caused by intense suction or kissing, which breaks small blood vessels beneath the surface. Their perception varies widely across individuals and cultures, but a common viewpoint associates them more strongly with younger age groups.

Why They're Often Seen as Childish

The association of hickeys with immaturity stems from several factors:

  • Association with Adolescence: They are frequently seen among teenagers, much like other playful symbols or trends popular during those formative years. For many, they embody the fervent, sometimes less discreet, expressions of young love.
  • Lack of Discretion: Visible hickeys can be seen as a lack of consideration for professional or formal social environments. Displaying such a mark publicly might suggest an immature approach to personal boundaries and appearance, especially in settings where professionalism or subtlety is expected.
  • Shifting Appeal with Age: Their appeal tends to diminish significantly with age. What might be considered a passionate mark of affection or a rebellious statement in youth often becomes less desirable or even unprofessional in adulthood. They can be likened to things that hold great significance for kids or teenagers but tend to lose their charm the older one gets.

The Shifting Landscape of Hickeys by Age Group

The social acceptance and desirability of hickeys often evolve dramatically with age, reflecting changing priorities and social norms.

Age Group Common Perception & Practice
Teens Often seen as a sign of affection, passion, or rebellion. More common and openly displayed.
Young Adults (20s) Less common; may be seen as less mature or potentially unprofessional, especially in career settings.
Adults (30+) Generally avoided; can be viewed as immature or inappropriate for adult relationships and professional life.

Social and Professional Implications

Beyond personal perception, visible hickeys can carry practical consequences:

  • Professional Settings: In many workplaces, a visible hickey can be perceived as unprofessional and a distraction, potentially affecting how an individual is viewed by colleagues or superiors.
  • Social Judgment: Individuals with visible hickeys might face judgment or assumptions about their maturity levels, discretion, or the nature of their relationships from peers, family, or strangers.

When Are Hickeys Acceptable?

Ultimately, the acceptability of hickeys often comes down to context, mutual consent, and individual preferences.

  • Private Settings: In intimate, private moments, hickeys can be a part of consensual physical expression between partners.
  • Mutual Consent: It is crucial that hickeys are always given and received with enthusiastic and clear consent from both parties. Open communication about boundaries and preferences is paramount.
  • Individual Preference: What one person finds charming or a valid expression of affection, another might find inappropriate or undesirable. Understanding your partner's comfort level and the potential social implications is key.

For more information on hickeys, including how they form, you can refer to health resources like those from the Cleveland Clinic or learn more about consent in relationships from reputable sources.