For a wake in 2024, opt for respectful, conservative business casual attire in muted colors, generally avoiding overly casual clothes like t-shirts and jeans, or festive and celebratory outfits, unless specifically requested by the family.
Understanding Wake Dress Etiquette
Attending a wake is a gesture of respect and support for the grieving family. Your attire should reflect the solemnity of the occasion while also being comfortable enough for the duration of the event. While customs evolve, the core principles of respectful dressing for a wake remain consistent in 2024.
General Dress Code Guidelines
The safest and most widely accepted dress code for a wake is business casual. This strikes a balance between formal wear and everyday casual clothes, ensuring you present yourself respectfully without being overly formal or underdressed.
- Respectful and Subdued: Choose clothing that is modest and does not draw undue attention. Darker or neutral colors like black, navy, charcoal gray, deep browns, forest greens, or muted purples are always appropriate.
- Comfortable but Polished: Wakes can be emotionally taxing and involve standing for periods. Select comfortable clothing that still looks sharp and well-maintained.
- Avoid Overly Casual Attire: Steer clear of clothing typically worn for leisure activities. This includes items such as:
- T-shirts
- Jeans (especially ripped or distressed styles)
- Sweatshirts and hoodies
- Athletic wear
- Shorts or capris
- Flip-flops or sneakers
What to Wear to a Wake (General Recommendations)
Choosing the right outfit ensures you can focus on offering comfort and condolences.
- For Men:
- Tops: A collared shirt (button-down or polo) in a solid, muted color. A sweater or blazer can be layered over.
- Bottoms: Dress trousers or chinos in dark colors.
- Footwear: Dress shoes (loafers, oxfords) or clean, dark boots.
- Accessories: A tie is optional but can add a touch of formality. Simple belt.
- For Women:
- Tops: A conservative blouse, sweater, or shell top.
- Bottoms: Dress slacks, a modest skirt (knee-length or longer), or tailored trousers.
- Dresses: A conservative dress (midi or knee-length) in a solid, dark color.
- Footwear: Dress shoes, modest heels, or flats.
- Accessories: Simple jewelry, a subdued handbag.
Attire Quick Reference Table
This table provides a concise overview of appropriate and inappropriate items for a wake.
| Category | Recommended Attire | Attire to Avoid |
|---|---|---|
| Tops | Collared shirts, blouses, sweaters, blazers | T-shirts, tank tops, casual hoodies, festive prints |
| Bottoms | Slacks, tailored trousers, knee-length/midi skirts | Casual jeans (especially ripped), shorts, leggings |
| Dresses/Suits | Modest dresses, skirt suits, pant suits, dark suits | Party dresses, brightly colored suits, revealing cuts |
| Footwear | Dress shoes, loafers, modest heels, dark flats | Sneakers, flip-flops, overly casual sandals |
| Accessories | Minimal, simple jewelry, subdued handbags | Flashy or loud accessories, oversized bags |
Special Considerations: Celebrating a Life
While the general rule is to avoid festive or fun attire, there are exceptions. Sometimes, families choose to encourage the celebration of their loved one's life at the wake. In such cases, they might specify a particular color or a slightly less formal dress code (e.g., "wear their favorite color" or "come as you are"). If the family has made such a request, it will usually be explicitly stated in the obituary or by direct communication. When in doubt, it is always best to err on the side of traditional, respectful attire. For more general etiquette, refer to guides like this Funeral Etiquette Overview.
Practical Tips for Choosing Your Outfit
- Check the Obituary: Sometimes, the family will include specific dress code requests in the obituary or funeral announcement. Always check this first.
- Consider the Venue: Wakes can be held in various locations, from funeral homes to churches or even private residences. While the dress code remains similar, comfort may be a factor (e.g., consider layers for varied temperatures).
- Prioritize Modesty: Regardless of the specific item, ensure your clothing is modest. Avoid anything too revealing, brightly colored, or with distracting patterns.
- Grooming Matters: Beyond clothing, ensure your hair is tidy, and your overall appearance is neat and well-groomed.
